Dehydrated brains

In November 2011, backed by the conclusions of a group of scientists who, in 3 years of research, could not find conclusive evidence, the European Union banned drink producers from claiming that “water can prevent dehydration”.¹

Yes, just as you read it: in Europe a bottled water producer cannot include in its advertising the claim that “water hydrates”, or prevents dehydration, to be more precise.

Let’s think for a moment. Hydro comes from the Greek² ὑδρο-, hydros, which means.… wait a minute!.… WATER!!

Well, this situation didn’t last long. After a few days, and after being ridiculed, the scientists of the European Food Safety Authority (EFSA) issued a statement reporting that there is indeed enough evidence to prove that water can regulate body temperature and allow the body to carry out its normal physical and cognitive functions³ (apparently hydration produces the same effects, but you can’t say that, remember?).

And why don’t they legislate on more important things?

In any case, instead of legislating that kind of stupidity they could ban the proliferation and use of R-718, because I received extremely serious information about this compound, which I now proceed to transcribe.

R-718, or dihydrogen monoxide:

• Is also called hydroxylic acid, and is the major component of acid rain.

• Contributes to the greenhouse effect.

• Can cause severe burns.

• Inhaling it is fatal.

• Contributes to soil erosion.

• Can cause electrical failures and reduce the effectiveness of automobile brakes

• Has been found in tumors removed from terminal cancer patients

And despite all those effects this dangerous compound is used

• As an industrial solvent and coolant.

• In nuclear plants.

• In the production of polystyrene.

• As a fire retardant.

• In many cruel experiments on animals, especially marine mammals.

• In the distribution of pesticides. Even after being washed, many products remain contaminated with this chemical.

• And as an additive in junk food and other food products.

This compound is a real danger to the environment and nobody does anything. Not even in Europe, with its high levels of concern for the environment: they bother to legislate so that no ad says that water hydrates, and they let this use and abuse of dihydrogen monoxide slide.⁴ Inconceivable.

Notes