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A model of trust

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Trust can be visualized with this equation

T = (C + R + I) / S

Where the terms are:

  • T: Trust, which is the result.

  • C: Credibility, which comes from credentials, or knowledge, plus honesty.

  • R: Reliability, dependability, knowing that promises are kept.

  • I: Intimacy, which touches the emotions; it is feeling connected to the other person, it is openness, transparency.

  • S, Self orientation or Selfishness, the focus on your own goals at the expense of the goals of the relationship.

Notice that the first factors, credibility, reliability and intimacy, add up to trust. They are gradual: each element on its own helps increase trust. But as selfishness grows, self-interest, the wish to push your own agenda at the expense of the common goal, the value of trust drops fast. The more selfishness, the less trust.

You can analyze any relationship with this model. One way would be to assign values from 1 to 10 to each of these parameters; in that case a relationship of perfect trust should give you a value of 30, and absolute distrust would have a value of 0.3.

Some tips for improving these parameters (taken from here):

CREDIBILITY

  • Tell the truth

  • Don’t exaggerate

  • When you don’t know something, say so quickly and directly

  • Do your homework

  • Love what you do

RELIABILITY

  • Make small commitments, on small things, and keep them

  • Use the terminology of your client, or user

  • Be consistent

  • Trust links intentions to actions

INTIMACY

  • Intimacy comes with time

  • Open up your process, be transparent

  • You have to know how to listen

  • Show that you care about the other person

SELFISHNESS

  • Let your counterpart fill in those blanks in a conversation

  • Listen, be reflective

  • Focus on defining the problem, not on describing the solution

  • Take responsibility for failures in communication

  • Be honest with yourself: if you have little interest in this situation, it is almost inevitable that you will focus more on yourself than on achieving joint success

  • It’s about committing, with the greatest intensity, to helping the other person (your client).

This post was inspired by an excellent talk by Ariel Plon given to the dcc8090 group, organized by my friend Maz.

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