Twitter anthology 2009

Christmas is here, and I usually leave you a present. This time I’m leaving a list of some of my Twitter posts, several of them chosen based on favstar’s selection (thanks to the followers who picked them):

“Gone with the Wind”, Twitter version: “Tomorrow is another day”, “frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn”, the end. http://twitter.com/lnds/status/6927774475

The difference between users and dolphins is that the latter can be trained to perform the required activities http://twitter.com/lnds/status/1765292402

God must be a little old hunchback, because “he gives with one hand and takes away with the other” and, as the kids’ rhyme goes, “he who gives and takes back grows a little hump” http://twitter.com/lnds/status/6911613111

In the end the Grinch was weak http://twitter.com/lnds/status/5361534843

Evolution for programmers. Darwin: Use Cases, Mendel: Functional Design, Watson and Crick: The Code http://twitter.com/lnds/status/6005788436

Confirmed: the principle that “2 bodies cannot occupy the same space at the same time” does not hold in the Santiago subway http://twitter.com/lnds/status/3306870999

The best development methodology: “write down what has to be done on a list and do it” http://twitter.com/lnds/status/2818161103

An expert doesn’t see himself as one, because he isn’t satisfied with his command of the subject; he keeps studying and practicing http://twitter.com/lnds/status/2075794046

On TV we see what happens to a few suckers; on the internet we see what happens to the suckers we care about http://twitter.com/lnds/status/1681723763

Tweeter is one big distributed Turing Test... http://twitter.com/lnds/status/1255292099

And the Emperor said to the General: “you will build me that wall”, and hundreds of thousands of Chinese paid with their lives. http://twitter.com/lnds/status/6086380783

this ecology thing must be an Illuminati conspiracy. http://twitter.com/lnds/status/5505387307

I invite all women to join the Movement for Integration and Liberation of Females: MILF http://twitter.com/lnds/status/6094100863

Judging by its advertising, Pedigree dog food should be used to fight diarrhea in children http://twitter.com/lnds/status/4681629773

The problem with technocrats is that they are usually terrible technically http://twitter.com/lnds/status/4476111443

Just realized that a corollary of Gödel’s Theorem is that we will never be able to get rid of lawyers, damn it! http://twitter.com/lnds/status/4475765269

Movistar must have a department dedicated to wrecking the service http://twitter.com/lnds/status/4314684029

Software’s greatest enemy is hardware http://twitter.com/lnds/status/4302948672

The next day should be randomly generated; I’m bored with the sequence mon, tue, wed ...sun, mon.. http://twitter.com/lnds/status/4145671295

September 18 (Chile’s national holiday) is actually an ancient pagan festival celebrating the arrival of spring ;) http://twitter.com/lnds/status/4028120132

Free software and ecology are far-right conspiracies ;) http://twitter.com/lnds/status/3862387197

All that I have told you will be understood and assimilated 10 years from now. http://twitter.com/lnds/status/3764704294

Computers are useless; it’s the software that makes them useful http://twitter.com/lnds/status/3687411098

Plant a tree, have a child, write a program in C http://twitter.com/lnds/status/3555544230

I tremble before the statistical rigor of journalists http://twitter.com/lnds/status/3476643257

Multinationals and their obsession with their brands: imagine renaming Tribilín (as we always knew him in Latin America) to Goofy http://twitter.com/lnds/status/3475517818

Giving up TV is a nobler and healthier choice than ecology or naturism. http://twitter.com/lnds/status/3275631382

Just realized that the squirrel from Ice Age is like the Coyote from the Road Runner, but vegetarian. Hmmm http://twitter.com/lnds/status/2181094926

Software is free when it is not limited by hardware resources http://twitter.com/lnds/status/2048685194

Statistics: 80% of young people admit they masturbate, the other 20% lie about it. http://twitter.com/lnds/status/2042218516

The reason polls are worthless is House’s Law: “everybody lies”. The statistical method is irrelevant.http://twitter.com/lnds/status/2019743287

I can “understand” bad arguments, but I hate hypocritical arguments. http://twitter.com/lnds/status/1966074673

Engineers build the societies that politicians take care of destroying http://twitter.com/lnds/status/1800193752

Users are like dolphins: we know they are intelligent, but we can’t communicate effectively with them yet http://twitter.com/lnds/status/1764955096

Was Diogenes the first troll in history? http://twitter.com/lnds/status/1605994282

Where were the environmentalists when the dinosaurs went extinct? Huh? http://twitter.com/lnds/status/1409555005

God doesn’t have Facebook, therefore he doesn’t exist http://twitter.com/lnds/status/1271104858

Remember T.W.I.T.T.E.R. : The Web Interface for Turing Testing Emotional Responses http://twitter.com/lnds/status/1270631792

There is a place in hell for users who don’t know how to report a bug http://twitter.com/lnds/status/1092780025